SAT寫作11分范文修改實錄

　　下面為大家搜集整理了一篇得到了SAT寫作11分高分的范文，這篇SAT寫作范文是2010年11月的SAT寫作真題，主要內(nèi)容是討論了人們應該接受新環(huán)境還是應該保持原樣不改變呢?下面是詳細內(nèi)容，供大家參考。

　　Assignment: should people adapt to their new surroundings, or should they refuse to change?

　　Everyone through life seeing and experiencing diverse things in order to broad perspective. Change is a common occurrence in life. History is a slow process of changing. Customs and traditions flow slowly from day to day, however, certain single change may change the history dramatically. Alexander Hamilton and Benjamin Franklin are supposed to be such single events.

　　Alexander Hamilton, the first Secretary of Treasury of the United States, was a brilliant politican and a wise thinker. His mother died when he was eleven and his father was a poor businessman. His dream was to be a military leader, however, his poverty cannot fit his dream. Due to the help from his friends, he became a book assistant. He read every book that given to him and accumulated abundance of knowledge. His endover allowed him to get into Kings College. After his graduation, it was the time that Americans were undergoing the Independent War. Hamilton was the assistance which helped George Washington and his talent urged the Revolutionery War to get process. However, Alexander Hamilton did not realize his dream, he changed according to the new surroundings and he followed the steps of history. His reputation and achievement were on account of changing. So precious is change so that we could not ignore it.

　　Another persuasive example is Benjamin Franklin, one of the vital composers of the Declaration of Independence. He was a colonist and owned many slavers. He earned money from them and traded them. After a long time, he realized the terrifying treatment that slavers experienced---they were beaten, they were separate from families, they were forced to toil laboriously. Slavers were suffered . Franklin wanted to help slavers. He established schools for slavers to achieve education and began to help them out of the terrible condition. He was the avant-garde who firstly realized the freedom of everyone. His change influenced the whole United States immediately. During the bloody Civil War, slavers were totally released. It was Benjamin Franklin who adapted to the modern society which emphasized the freedom of each person.

　　The two examples above demonstrate that people should adapt to their surroundings rather than refusing to change. On no account can we ignore the importance of change. Certain single change may urge the development of the society and make such great contribution.

　　總體來說，個人覺得ETS評分比較松的，F(xiàn)ayer同學犯了不少她平時不會犯得錯誤，根本就沒有寫出她的最好水平。但是鑒于考場環(huán)境和心理因素，這篇文章也可以了，畢竟ETS 給了11分，還是值得肯定的。個人覺得主要是她的兩個例子舉得比較好，而且都解釋到位了。希望下次Fayer更細心一點，沖擊一下12分。

　　Through seeing and experiencing, people undergo diverse things in their lifetime. Change is a common occurrence in life. Though history is a slow process of change in which customs and traditions flow slowly from day to day, certain single change may impact the history dramatically. Alexander Hamilton and Benjamin Franklin are supposed to be such single events.

　　Alexander Hamilton, the first Secretary of Treasury of the United States, was a brilliant politician and wise thinker. His mother died when he was eleven and his father was a poor businessman. His dream was to be a military leader, however, his poverty, holding him in check from receiving advanced education, impeded him to realize his dream. With the help from his friends, he became a book assistant. He read every book given to him and accumulated abundance of knowledge. His endeavor won him the admission from Kings College，which is the Columbia University nowadays. After his graduation, the Americans were undergoing the Independent War. Hamiltons childhood dream of commanding the army revived immediately. However, at that time, George Washington, the General of the Continental Army only offered Hamilton a position to become the assistant who would get money and supplies for the revolutionary army. Though the reality was off his original plan, Hamilton took the job offer from George Washington and used his outstanding political and communication skills to assist the general. Owing to his unique performance in fulfilling his duties, Hamilton, after the Independence War, was designated by George Washington as the First Treasury Secretary of the United States and succeeded in restoring the war-ruined and exhausted US economy. If Hamilton had hung on his childhood dream and refused to change, the revolutionary army might not get sufficient supplies and the outcome of the Independence War might be different.

　　Another persuasive example is Benjamin Franklin, one of the vital composers of the Declaration of Independence. He was a colonist who owned many slaves and profited from exploiting and trading slaves. After a long time, he realized the terrifying treatment that slaves experienced---they were beaten, separate from families, forced to toil laboriously. Slaves suffered great panic from such a living. Franklin wanted to help the slaves. He established schools for slaves to achieve education and began to help them out of the terrible condition. He was the avant-garde who firstly realized the freedom and equality of everyone. His change influenced the whole United States immediately. During the bloody Civil War, slaves were totally released. Benjamin Franklin, with his conscientious changes of attitude towards the slaves, serves as a pioneer of the later liberation of the slaves.

　　The two examples above demonstrate that people should adapt to their surroundings rather than refusing to change. On no account can we ignore the importance of change. Certain single change may urge the development of the society and make such great contribution.

　　以上修改文章盡力保持作者原意以示尊重~倉促之下完成，并非盡善盡美，但是各位同學可以做個參考，看看自己的寫作究竟有無提高空間。

　　以上就是這篇SAT寫作11分范文的全部內(nèi)容，包括了作者的原文和后面修改后的文章。后面的修改對于文章的結構，用詞和語法等都進行了解析和修改，非常值得大家在備考中進行借鑒。

　　下面為大家搜集整理了一篇得到了SAT寫作11分高分的范文，這篇SAT寫作范文是2010年11月的SAT寫作真題，主要內(nèi)容是討論了人們應該接受新環(huán)境還是應該保持原樣不改變呢?下面是詳細內(nèi)容，供大家參考。

　　Assignment: should people adapt to their new surroundings, or should they refuse to change?

　　Everyone through life seeing and experiencing diverse things in order to broad perspective. Change is a common occurrence in life. History is a slow process of changing. Customs and traditions flow slowly from day to day, however, certain single change may change the history dramatically. Alexander Hamilton and Benjamin Franklin are supposed to be such single events.

　　Alexander Hamilton, the first Secretary of Treasury of the United States, was a brilliant politican and a wise thinker. His mother died when he was eleven and his father was a poor businessman. His dream was to be a military leader, however, his poverty cannot fit his dream. Due to the help from his friends, he became a book assistant. He read every book that given to him and accumulated abundance of knowledge. His endover allowed him to get into Kings College. After his graduation, it was the time that Americans were undergoing the Independent War. Hamilton was the assistance which helped George Washington and his talent urged the Revolutionery War to get process. However, Alexander Hamilton did not realize his dream, he changed according to the new surroundings and he followed the steps of history. His reputation and achievement were on account of changing. So precious is change so that we could not ignore it.

　　Another persuasive example is Benjamin Franklin, one of the vital composers of the Declaration of Independence. He was a colonist and owned many slavers. He earned money from them and traded them. After a long time, he realized the terrifying treatment that slavers experienced---they were beaten, they were separate from families, they were forced to toil laboriously. Slavers were suffered . Franklin wanted to help slavers. He established schools for slavers to achieve education and began to help them out of the terrible condition. He was the avant-garde who firstly realized the freedom of everyone. His change influenced the whole United States immediately. During the bloody Civil War, slavers were totally released. It was Benjamin Franklin who adapted to the modern society which emphasized the freedom of each person.

　　The two examples above demonstrate that people should adapt to their surroundings rather than refusing to change. On no account can we ignore the importance of change. Certain single change may urge the development of the society and make such great contribution.

　　總體來說，個人覺得ETS評分比較松的，F(xiàn)ayer同學犯了不少她平時不會犯得錯誤，根本就沒有寫出她的最好水平。但是鑒于考場環(huán)境和心理因素，這篇文章也可以了，畢竟ETS 給了11分，還是值得肯定的。個人覺得主要是她的兩個例子舉得比較好，而且都解釋到位了。希望下次Fayer更細心一點，沖擊一下12分。

　　Through seeing and experiencing, people undergo diverse things in their lifetime. Change is a common occurrence in life. Though history is a slow process of change in which customs and traditions flow slowly from day to day, certain single change may impact the history dramatically. Alexander Hamilton and Benjamin Franklin are supposed to be such single events.

　　Alexander Hamilton, the first Secretary of Treasury of the United States, was a brilliant politician and wise thinker. His mother died when he was eleven and his father was a poor businessman. His dream was to be a military leader, however, his poverty, holding him in check from receiving advanced education, impeded him to realize his dream. With the help from his friends, he became a book assistant. He read every book given to him and accumulated abundance of knowledge. His endeavor won him the admission from Kings College，which is the Columbia University nowadays. After his graduation, the Americans were undergoing the Independent War. Hamiltons childhood dream of commanding the army revived immediately. However, at that time, George Washington, the General of the Continental Army only offered Hamilton a position to become the assistant who would get money and supplies for the revolutionary army. Though the reality was off his original plan, Hamilton took the job offer from George Washington and used his outstanding political and communication skills to assist the general. Owing to his unique performance in fulfilling his duties, Hamilton, after the Independence War, was designated by George Washington as the First Treasury Secretary of the United States and succeeded in restoring the war-ruined and exhausted US economy. If Hamilton had hung on his childhood dream and refused to change, the revolutionary army might not get sufficient supplies and the outcome of the Independence War might be different.

　　Another persuasive example is Benjamin Franklin, one of the vital composers of the Declaration of Independence. He was a colonist who owned many slaves and profited from exploiting and trading slaves. After a long time, he realized the terrifying treatment that slaves experienced---they were beaten, separate from families, forced to toil laboriously. Slaves suffered great panic from such a living. Franklin wanted to help the slaves. He established schools for slaves to achieve education and began to help them out of the terrible condition. He was the avant-garde who firstly realized the freedom and equality of everyone. His change influenced the whole United States immediately. During the bloody Civil War, slaves were totally released. Benjamin Franklin, with his conscientious changes of attitude towards the slaves, serves as a pioneer of the later liberation of the slaves.

　　The two examples above demonstrate that people should adapt to their surroundings rather than refusing to change. On no account can we ignore the importance of change. Certain single change may urge the development of the society and make such great contribution.

　　以上修改文章盡力保持作者原意以示尊重~倉促之下完成，并非盡善盡美，但是各位同學可以做個參考，看看自己的寫作究竟有無提高空間。

　　以上就是這篇SAT寫作11分范文的全部內(nèi)容，包括了作者的原文和后面修改后的文章。后面的修改對于文章的結構，用詞和語法等都進行了解析和修改，非常值得大家在備考中進行借鑒。